Looking back looks different

I’ve walked a rocky path. Which for a very long time I felt cursed to have to walk. I was angry that this seemed to be my ‘lot’ in life.

But in the last 24 hours I’ve had 2 conversations which have in different ways been eye opening about what I want to do differently going forward.

And while those conversations left me with tangible actions. Differing ways to see how situations were playing out, what struck me the most was how I looking back looks different.

The moment of realising that I am not sad about the path that I have walked. I walked it. It was what it was. I am in awe of myself for doing it. And I can do differently going forward but there is no sense of shame for that being the path that I did walk.

There is no knowing if that path may have been different. I can see where there were many points that the path could have been different. It could have started to weave in a different direction. But it didn't. And it didn't because in that moment there was not something I could have done differently. The stars did not align, for either something to be said, or for me to have the thought or for something to happen which changed the path.

So that is the path I walked.

And this is where I am.

And each moment of knew knowing offers me the opportunity to choose.

To choose what's next.

To choose how I might do differently. What I might do differently.

I still hold on to knowledge that there are things in this world, about living that will never be explainable.

But what I do know, is that finding a place of peace with the journey you have walked is a massive part of healing.

Because when we are at peace with the path we have walked, there is more freedom to choose what the path in front of us will look like.